To inspire YOU, how about if I share a success story with you!
Let’s call her Camille.
When I met Camille, she was in a 3 year long distance relationship. 4 hours driving long… Her intention was to find a way to get her boyfriend to love her more. He was good looking and successful, so she was not going to give up on him. In her mind, he was a catch!
This was a typical weekend for them. She would drive 4 hours to his place, because her place was too far. The weekend was always about what he wanted to do, and rarely did they have time alone. It always a social event with a group of people. By the end of the weekend, they would get in a fight and should would leave early, upset and would not talk for days, till she called him to apologize for getting upset. Never, never would he hear or care about her upsets.
It was easy to see Camille’s broken patterns.
- She was a crumb catcher! Meaning she would accept his crumbs (minimal attention), and made excuses for his bad behavior.
- She’d do all the heavy lifting. He didn’t have to travel 4 hours to visit her, because she made it easy for him. He didn’t have to show up and demonstrate he’s into her.
- The way to a man’s heart is to spoil him, thinking he would want her more. Wrong! This is the way to teach a man to take you for granted. Which he did!
As you can imagine if she stayed in this relationship, nothing would have changed. You don’t turn these kind of relationships around. Her mistake was that she wanted a man who clearly was not into her, to somehow fall in love and start behaving like a man that couldn’t live without her.
Note: Even if a man mumbles the L word, if he’s not afraid of losing you, all you’ve got is a man who uses that word loosely.
How did we cure her situation?
For starters, I coached her to see this guy for who he really was. He was a man who had multiple girlfriends (unbeknownst to her) and did not want an intimate relationship. Second, she created this disaster by being willing to go along with it. She could have saved two and a half of her prime years by knowing when to give up and move on. She needed to learn to love herself and value what she offers a man, so she could shift her intention from impressing and appealing to a man, to waiting for a man who sees her and pursues her.
Camille, dated a few more men, and quickly fell for a guy who declared his love for her after one date. I’m telling you this, because I want you to know it’s a process. Camille needed to be burned one more time before she was ready to embrace and grow into a woman who deserves the kind of love that my program produces. Guess what…
Camille is now married!
She became her authentic self. She stopped being what she thought men wanted. She stopped accepting crumbs and started trusting that someone special would love her and her life just as it was. But most of all, she followed the whole plan. She invested in herself and her love life.
Her husband is not perfect. But he is the perfect partner for her. He adores her and works on the relationship. He is there for every aspect of her messy life. Even when the kids /grand kids had to move in!
I want you to know that 80% of the women I coach, fall in love, but maybe 50% achieve my brand for special love. I’ll tell you why. Every woman’s path is different.
I want you to know, I am not talking about average love. I’m talking about the kind of love that is deep and committed and rich in partnership. My women all share the realization that they never known a love like this was out there. Sure maybe 5% of the public achieve this without painful lessons. But the rest of us, who had poor relationship modeling, self esteem issues, or whatever in our past that cultivated our willingness to accept crumbs or struggles in love, we need help. An intervention or a light to show us the truth.
Of all the women I have met and coached, the ones that achieve off the charts love (like my sister has) was because they are completely open with me and text or call me every step of the way. It’s a process.
The REAL success happens when they open up to me and USE me! Of course my time it’s not free. If it was, you wouldn’t value it!
Camille ultimately had success because she was open and vulnerable with me divulging everything to me. What he said, what he texted, how they met, what mistakes were made, what concerns she had. And every step of the way, I told her what to do, when to do it and what to say, until it changed the way she thought and she could fly on her own!
If you get one impression from this email, I want you to know this success is not unique. It happens to every woman I work with that is a) willing to actively date b) follows my guidance c) is vulnerable, open, truthful with me and communicates with me, like I was her confidant.
If you want this kind of love, reach out to me. Even if you just have a simple question, call, text or email.
You know, I am all about guiding women to happy relationships. I want that for you too!
I hope this email inspired you and maybe spoke to something that’s on your mind right now.