If you are tired, hurt or confused about men and relationships...Ask Denise!
Recently I received a question via "Ask Denise" that I felt would benefit other women. So today's blog is devoted to answering her concern. Jealous Boyfriend – Do I Have a Future?
Every time my fiance and I have a misunderstanding he breaks up with me and takes all his belongings, even the engagement ring. After a little while he comes back to me and apologizes. This has happened many times. He leaves but he comes back. The cause of the fights are that he is too jealous and doesn't want me to talk with other guys. Do you think I have a future with this man? - Engagement roller coaster
Dear Coach Denise,
Over the past month, I have been spending some time with a new guy who I really like, and I want a real relationship with him. We see each other very frequently, and most of the time, we are hanging out with either his friends or my friends, and sometimes both. We all get along well, but he and I have only had one official date. (He asked me!) The complication is that he says he's not ready for anything serious because he recently broke up with his girlfriend of one year. I don't want to push him into a relationship before he is ready, but I have been avoiding having sex because I'm afraid he will put me in the "friends with benefits" category, where I have ended up before. I'm crazy about this guy! What should I do so he'll want me to be his partner?
This may be one of the simplest lessons a woman will ever learn, but it also tends to be the hardest to adopt. Ready?
If you don't want to be treated a certain way, then don't engage in the treatment you are avoiding!
For example, in my last blog, a young woman named Jess was dating a guy she wanted to be in a relationship with, but he wasn't ready and she was afraid of becoming his "friend with benefits." I told her that you can't be a "friend with benefits" if you refuse to have sex with your friends. Unfortunately, she caved in, and he's still not ready to be in a relationship, so she's right where she didn't want to be.
Here's a question that comes up a million times a day throughout the world: "Why do men prefer a sex buddy over a real girlfriend or wife?" In fact, many women in "relationships" feel like they are nothing more than room mates who have sex! Their guy lives his own life with very little involvement with her, except for the times when he wants to have sex. Then he gets what he wants and goes back to focusing on his other interests in life, whether it be hobbies, work, friends, etc.
Here's the answer:
Standards? What's wrong with my standards? I'm picky. In fact, I'm too picky! I have a very specific kind of guy in mind for myself, and I find it impossible to bother with other guys who don't fit those standards. I know what hair and eye color I want, what height is acceptable, how much he should earn... I could go on and on!
Here's my answer to this kind of reaction, which I hear ALL the time. There is nothing wrong with being discriminating, except... you are being picky about the wrong things, and need to raise your standards in other areas. I'm sure you've found guys that fit your criteria, whether it's based on how he looks, or how much he earns, but you're still single, or you wouldn't be reading this! What went wrong? Ever been with