If you are tired, hurt or confused about men and relationships...Ask Denise!
Recently I received a question via "Ask Denise" that I felt would benefit other women. So today's blog is devoted to answering her concern. Jealous Boyfriend – Do I Have a Future?
Every time my fiance and I have a misunderstanding he breaks up with me and takes all his belongings, even the engagement ring. After a little while he comes back to me and apologizes. This has happened many times. He leaves but he comes back. The cause of the fights are that he is too jealous and doesn't want me to talk with other guys. Do you think I have a future with this man? - Engagement roller coaster
Here's a question that comes up a million times a day throughout the world: "Why do men prefer a sex buddy over a real girlfriend or wife?" In fact, many women in "relationships" feel like they are nothing more than room mates who have sex! Their guy lives his own life with very little involvement with her, except for the times when he wants to have sex. Then he gets what he wants and goes back to focusing on his other interests in life, whether it be hobbies, work, friends, etc.
Here's the answer:
What advice would you offer this woman? Her guy spends time with a woman who is into him, he says they are just friends. However, he deletes her messages and acts very suspicious. He won't include her in these so called friend outings. She wants advice about what to do. Of course anyone who is not invested emotionally would immediately advise to dump the guy. But let's be practical, she won't because she is in love with him. Naturally it's her inclination to try harder, to fight for her man, to give him ultimatums. Anything to get him to stop seeing her. Yet the best advice is to do less. What does that mean?
Standards? What's wrong with my standards? I'm picky. In fact, I'm too picky! I have a very specific kind of guy in mind for myself, and I find it impossible to bother with other guys who don't fit those standards. I know what hair and eye color I want, what height is acceptable, how much he should earn... I could go on and on!
Here's my answer to this kind of reaction, which I hear ALL the time. There is nothing wrong with being discriminating, except... you are being picky about the wrong things, and need to raise your standards in other areas. I'm sure you've found guys that fit your criteria, whether it's based on how he looks, or how much he earns, but you're still single, or you wouldn't be reading this! What went wrong? Ever been with
This may be one of the simplest lessons a woman will ever learn, but it also tends to be the hardest to adopt. Ready?
If you don't want to be treated a certain way, then don't engage in the treatment you are avoiding!
For example, in my last blog, a young woman named Jess was dating a guy she wanted to be in a relationship with, but he wasn't ready and she was afraid of becoming his "friend with benefits." I told her that you can't be a "friend with benefits" if you refuse to have sex with your friends. Unfortunately, she caved in, and he's still not ready to be in a relationship, so she's right where she didn't want to be.